


#ThingsIanAndFergusText

by Caedmon



Series: Books, Coffee, and Rock-n-Roll [2]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-02
Updated: 2018-12-02
Packaged: 2019-09-05 18:56:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16816480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caedmon/pseuds/Caedmon
Summary: Ian and Fergus are relentless in their pursuit of goading each other. Texting merely offers another way to go about it.





	#ThingsIanAndFergusText

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RishiDiams](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RishiDiams/gifts).



> HAPPY BIRTHDAY, RISHIDIAMS!!! 
> 
> This is short, but made with love. A slightly different-than-usual fic, with visual aids, and thus slightly more difficult to read. Hope you enjoy!
> 
> And thank you to Rose--Nebula for encouraging this silliness!

Fergus: Hey bampot  
Ian: yes, shithead?  
Fergus: What do you call a female police officer who plays guitar?  
Ian: I’m going to regret asking this  
Ian: idk, what?  
Fergus: SHE RIFF  
Ian: jesus fucking christ, Fergus. that’s terrible  
Fergus: you laughed.  
Ian: did not  
Fergus: just admit it.  
Ian: never in a million years  
Fergus: I’ve got another one  
Ian: oh shit  
Fergus: what do Eric Clapton and a cup of coffee have in common?  
Ian: if you say ‘they’re shit without Cream’ I’m going to find you and beat you with Tardis  
Fergus: you take all the fun out of everything, you know that?  
Ian: I can be fun. What do you call the part of the concert where everyone goes to the loo?  
Ian: the drum solo.  
Fergus: what’s the difference between a lead guitarist and a hoover?  
Fergus: when you unplug the hoover it doesn’t suck anymore  
Ian: how do you know if the stage is level?  
Fergus: ?  
Ian: The drummer is drooling from both sides of his mouth  
Fergus: haha! that’s actually a good one, dipshit!  
Ian: I have to go. Rose wants dinner.  
Fergus: say hi to her for me!

~*~O~*~

Ian: thinking of making some purchases for the next tour  
Ian:   
Fergus: you’re so very funny  
Ian: I’m completely serious. ticket sales would likely go up  
Fergus: your ticket sales would go through the roof if I played shirtless  
Ian: we’d have to cancel the shows due to my excessive vomiting  
Fergus: why are you so afraid of my masculinity?  
Ian: I’m not answering that.

~*~O~*~

Ian:   
Fergus: Oh, you want to throw memes? I see.  
Ian: oh shit  
Fergus:   
Fergus:   
Fergus:   
Fergus:   
Ian: goddammit. I might have known you’d have scads of these fuckers piled up  
Ian: what do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?  
Ian: A drummer.  
Fergus: what I imagine you said to persuade Rose to date you:  
Fergus:   
Ian: oh haha.  
Ian:   
Fergus: suuuure it is  
Fergus: but I suppose it has to be *something* that keeps women interested in you  
Ian: this from your fugly arse?  
Fergus:   
Ian: dream on  
Fergus: want a beer?  
Ian: Fox and Badger?  
Fergus: see you there 


End file.
